The blessing of sisters

When I was pregnant with our second daughter, many people told me how wonderful it would be if we had a son this time around. In those days you usually didn’t find out the sex of your unborn baby, or not that early. Or you didn’t find out at all.

I remember thinking about it and how a family with one girl and one boy probably looks like the ‘ideal’ picture. But to me that just wasn’t true. I am one of the fortunate people who grew up with three sisters and a brother. And I know what it is like to have sisters, to grow up with sisters.

So, what is it about sisters?

One minute you love your sister and the next you totally dislike her. They’re wonderful to have around, but they can also be totally exasperating.

When we were younger we would also fight a great deal as sisters. Physically fight. You were always afraid one of your sisters would somehow have an easier time, have a nicer room, prettier clothes, more cake … You were so jealous at times. At least the physical fighting stopped as you grow older.

On the other hand, you would also be like a lioness protecting one another. We always had each other’s back. If you knew someone was really mean to one of your sisters at school, you would also not like that person on principle. You would stick together. And, you would help a sister, whatever the situation. But these things can be said for any sibling.

So, specifically sisters

Your sister is your best friend. From day one you’re living with this person in the same household. She’ll be honest with you and can ask questions your friends might not even dare to ask. Unfiltered advice will also (and always) be given. You would share things, your clothes, make-up, shoes (if you have the same size feet), beauty products… But most incredibly you share a bond no one else gets close to sharing. You would be in sync with each other.

As you grow older and have your own family and friends, siblings can grow apart. Especially when some move to other countries. But, this doesn’t mean that you’re not sharing that bond anymore. Sure, you need to work harder on it because there are more people needing your attention. Nonetheless I saw it with my mom and her sisters, who lived continents away from each other. Whenever they met up after years of not seeing each other – this was before mobile phones, Skype or zoom – they would pick up that invisible thread and be sisters again. Now with all that extra technology to our disposal it should be easier to keep the bond going.

With sisters you can sometimes just share a look (if you’re lucky to be visiting) and you’ll know she’ll react in a certain way. You know some of each other’s deepest darkest secrets, but you also know she’ll never tell. What is more, you feel comfortable in her company because you know you can just be yourself.

And then when you’re bored because you are waiting on kids, friends, appointments or standing in a queue, you can always text your sister. She’ll answer or one of the others will. There is off course the case for your non-biological sisters, but that’s a post for another day.

So, in the deepest part of my heart and soul I hoped that our second child was going be a girl. That way both our daughters would have a sister. And so it was.

Greetings until next time.